Clara Hughes

It gave me a set of rules to live by, a code of conduct I guess you could say.  It gave me something good to pour myself into.  I got into a  lot of trouble as a teenager and finally found something positive to do instead of drinking, drugs and boredom.

I realize I have a capacity and cannot do everything.  My Mom always made me finish what I started growing up and if I didn’t want to sign up again, then I could make that choice.  So I always think of things in terms of ‘finishing what I start’ and look at a broad perspective of all the things I think I want to do, together on a calendar, then try to make better decisions this way.  I respect I have a capacity that is not limitless and realize if I say yes to every great thing out there I will be no good to everything including myself.  When I feel burnt out as I do right now, I step away and make sure I give myself the time to recover.  This is the most difficult thing for me, being idle, feeling like I am not accomplishing anything.  Resting and recovering and just simply doing little things like reading and chilling out is just as important and crucial to doing anything that may seem like a big accomplishment.

Just listening is a big deal.  I get a lot of notes and messages asking for help.  I always tell people that half the time I don’t know what to do with myself, let alone giving advice to someone else.  But I can let them know their voice is heard and encourage them to find the support in their community.  I work with a psychologist and this individual is crucial for me to live and cope with the difficult emotions I go through that at times feel overwhelming.  Letting someone feel their voice is heard is important but knowing you cannot cure someone or fix or rescue them is important, too.  You need to be able to steer people in the direction of support that is available as well as listening.

Just an opportunity to share the struggle.  For years I shared the joy as an athlete and realized people thought it was easy all the time for me.  I thought if they could understand some of my struggle, perhaps this would help a person thinking and feeling they were isolated in these inner feelings, in the illness they have.  I also have a family history of mental illness with my sister and father, to I wanted to speak for the system that has amazing people working in it, but is underfunded and broken in many ways.  We need to have better support and care and funding in Canada.  We need this around the world.

I didn’t have the courage to get help.  I was in denial thinking if I admitted something was wrong I would end up as sick as my dad or my sister.  I lost 2 years of my competitive life to depression and it took a long time to figure things out.  I had people around who cared and supported me because I was an athlete who could win, and was lucky to be in this position.  Most people are not in this position.

Just do it.  Do anything.  Be creative and let things unfold.  You will be surprised at what you do. 

I love hiking and running.  Particularly trail running. I love being in nature. I never have earphones in because this is my time to really connect with myself.  I love the simplicity of it.

It was epic beyond belief.  I knew clearly if I quit or didn’t ride I would have to say this to the community I went to and the school I visited before I left.  This was not an option.  I felt like the struggle we had with the weather was a parallel to the struggle of mental illness and the stigma attached.  It was an unknown, agonizing at times, situation riding in the cold, often it seemed like it would never get warm.  But eventually it did and because we never gave up, there was a certain satisfaction in having persevered.  Quitting is simply not an example I am willing to set.